Giving My Heart
by Dreamspheres
Summary: Elena tries to convince Damon that she loves him, but he doesn't believe her. With Christmas approaching, will she be able to convince him in time? And what happens when they find themselves under the mistletoe? Written for the A2A holiday exchange, prompt by Lizzy85cec.


**A/N**: _This is a short Christmas story that I wrote for the LJ holiday exchange._ _Damon and Elena are not in a good place at the beginning, but I promise it will get cheesy and smutty toward the end. _

_Here is the original prompt by Lizzy85cec:_

_"MISTLETOE! Damon has reached his limit when it comes to Elena and not accepting her true feelings for him, so he decides to pull away from her COMPLETELY. Avoiding her, ignoring her, making it seem like she never existed. Put some balls back into our favorite vampire. Of course, she notices and hurt as she realizes what she's put him through she attempts to prove to him that she feels the same way, but he's just not buying it. This is where the mistletoe comes in {has to be in there} they end up at a Christmas party somewhere {at a friends, town function, whatever} and what proves to him that she's serious is that they ended up accidentally under mistletoe and doesn't hesitate to make her feelings known when it's pointed out to them. Smut ensues. M- Mature! A big crowd is a plus, especially if it happens in front of Stefan. It's kind of specific so if you have a different idea, as long as mistletoe brings them together and they end up in bed, I won't mind."_

_It's pre-4x07 and Damon's POV (which is kind of an experiment for me) and I've changed a few things at the beginning, so that we jump in when Elena has already realized her feelings for him. _

_Rated M for language and adult content._

_Special thanks go to Kim (kimbuhlay) ____who I can't thank enough for being such an amazing beta!_

_Happy reading! :)_

* * *

**Giving My Heart**

.*.

.*.*.

.*.*.*.

I've endured a lot of crap from Elena Gilbert. I've dealt with unrequited feelings, I've gotten past the times she said she hated me, I've even let her slap me; it's when she tells me she loves me that I decide I've had enough. It might seem like a rather unusual point in time to pull away, with the person you love telling you she feels the same way, but here's the point: she doesn't really mean it. I'm sure of it. A few weeks ago she told Stefan that choosing him was the best decision of her life and now she expects me to believe that I am all she's ever hoped for. Doesn't seem very logical, does it?

I know from my own experience that nothing is logical in the first weeks of your vampire life and that she's probably experiencing some kind of high at the moment, and ironically, it seems to be directed toward me. But it won't last. And she doesn't mean it. Not really. And quite frankly, I've really had enough of all this shit.

Without saying a word, I turn away from her and speed towards the boarding house. I admit that was a bit melodramatic, but my emotions are running wild. After all, I've just heard her say the words I desperately wanted to hear a few months ago. I wish I could believe her now, but I just can't.

_"I care about you, Damon... which is why I have to let you go."_

The painful memories of that horrible night still haunt me.

My cell starts to vibrate in my pocket, but I ignore it. Again and again she tries to call me, but I let it go to voicemail.

A few days pass and I'm sitting by the bar at the Grill when someone taps me on the shoulder. Of course, this someone has long, brunette hair and beautiful brown eyes that stare at me intensely. She's tried to call me a few times and sent a hundred texts, but I haven't answered, because honestly, I just don't know what to say. I realize that coming to the Grill was probably not the cleverest choice of location and judging by the way Matt is evading eye-contact from behind the bar, I'm sure he told her I was here.

"You're avoiding me."

I can't really place the tone in her voice. It's surprisingly neutral and not accusatory at all. A bit sad, maybe?

"Am I?"

I try to push past her, desperate to get outside as soon as possible. I know the effect she has on me and I really, really want to stick to my plan. She puts her hand on my arm, trying to stop me and I feel tingles going down my spine. Yeah, exactly what I wanted to avoid. I shrug her off, rushing past her at vamp-speed into the cold, dark November night.

A few seconds later, I hear her appear behind me. How did she get outside so fast? Right. Because she's a vampire now. That's how she affects me; I can't even think straight.

"Can I talk to you?" She sounds nervous, but determined.

I shrug and apparently it's enough enthusiasm for her to start.

"I don't want you to avoid me," she begins. "I miss you."

"Your loss," I scowl at her.

"What did I do to deserve this? Why are you so cold toward me?"

"Really, Elena? You're a lot of things, but stupid isn't one of them. You must have some kind of an idea." It comes out a little louder and angrier than I intended.

She looks at me, all confused and intimidated by my outburst. Despite my anger, I feel a bit sorry for her. She looks so lost.

"I thought that with Stefan and I apart, things between us would get better, not worse. I don't want it to be like this. You're important to me," she admits shyly.

I sigh. I know I won't get out of this without explaining myself to her and I have to admit that avoiding her completely wasn't the best technique either, so I'll just have to get it over with as soon as possible.

I take a deep breath.

"I just can't deal with this anymore," I say, frustratedly raking my fingers through my hair. "You take me for granted. You can't get over your friends' opinions of me. One day I'm the bad guy; no matter what I do you hate the way I act. And the next day you're on the outs again with Stefan, we're BFFs again and suddenly you tell me that you want more than just friendship? I just can't deal with this hot and cold ambivalence crap." Painful regret swells in me as I feel immediate guilt for raising my voice at her. "And I most certainly don't want to be your rebound guy," I add quietly.

She stares at me and her jaw drops for a few moments before she closes her mouth, only to open it a second later again."That's what you think you are to me?"

My silence confirms this for her, and she nods as if she's just realized something. "I see. And maybe you're right. I haven't been treating you very well lately. I'm sorry," she says simply.

Okay, I did not expect this much agreement. It's nice that she sees my point, but it doesn't really change the situation.

_Don't cave. Do not cave._ My inner mantra is on repeat.

"You know, maybe it would be best if I just left for a while." I try to make it sound as if the idea of leaving her doesn't rip my heart in two.

She gasps. "You've thought about leaving?" There's panic in her voice. "Because of me?"

"I'd have no reason to be here if it wasn't for you. And you're a vampire now. You can control your bloodlust. You know I'm really proud of you," I can't help but give her a slight smile; I really am proud of her, "but you don't need me here. And you don't want me, don't try to kid yourself. I'm sure in a week things will be different again."

"I do want you," she says stubbornly, and this feeling in my stomach that's making me lose my mind returns. "And no, they won't."

"Elena -" I shake my head, but she cuts me off.

"I'll prove it to you. Give me until Christmas and I'll prove it to you. Then you can leave, if you still want to."

Well, that doesn't seem like too bad of an idea. And it's not like I have anything to lose anyway.

"Alright. Deal."

She nods, and for a moment she looks like she's about to kiss me, but instead she turns abruptly and leaves.

* * *

.*.

.*.*.

.*.*.*.

Two days go by and I haven't heard from Elena. Guess her feelings weren't as long-term as she thought. Figures.

I open the front door of the boarding house, enter the parlor and stand there frozen for a moment. The parlor looks like a Christmas gift shop – there are Christmas lights and garlands everywhere. I look around and see Elena sitting curled up on one of the couches, reading a book. Or rather, pretending to read a book. I know she's watching me out of the corner of her eye.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm reading. Stefan said I could be here whenever I want to be."

"Yeah, I'm sure." I roll my eyes. "But that's not what I'm talking about."

With a disgusted look on my face, I gesture at the illuminated reindeer by the window.

"Ah, this. Tomorrow is the 1st of December," she says, as if it was completely obvious.

"Right." I can't keep the mocking tone out of my voice. She's gone nuts, it's official.

And then something clicks in my mind.

"Is this your attempt at proving that you're in love with me?"

I can't help but laugh out loud, raising my eyebrows. She can't be serious.

"You thought a reindeer made of red and blue lights would make me -"

I cut myself off because she looks like she's about to cry and I start to regret my harsh words. I mean, not that I don't like reindeer, but it isn't a very beautiful one, to be honest. And I just don't get excited by the sight of forest animals. I'm about to make a joke about Stefan and the reindeer, but her hurt expression stops me.

"I was bored and I thought you might like it. I apologize." She stands up and starts to take down the lights from the ceiling.

"Elena, I didn't mean it like that. It's -" I search for an enthusiastic word, but fail miserably. "Nice." I conclude, and I can't help but smirk.

"Nice?" She repeats, and now she's smirking, too.

I'm a bit relieved. I really don't want to upset her even more than I have over the last few days.

"You don't like Christmas, do you?" The hurt has left her face, thank God, and she now looks more amused than angry.

"Not really," I admit.

"I probably should've guessed." She closes the distance between us, jabbing her index finger into my chest. "I'll change your mind."

I shake my head. "Don't get your hopes up."

I walk to the stairs to get out of this Christmas horror that was once my parlor before I turn around to give her one last look.

"Thanks, Elena. I appreciate the gesture."

She gives me a full-blown smile and I swear it feels like my unbeating heart skips a beat.

* * *

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.*.*.

.*.*.*.

The next day I walk into my room and notice the little gift on my bed. It's wrapped up in Christmas paper, with reindeer and stars and all those hideous things people associate with this time of the year. It's ridiculous.

To say I have a slight suspicion as to who might have put it here would be an understatement. I can perfectly imagine how she was giggling when she bought the wrapping paper and wrapped it up, thinking about how much I'd despise it.

I see the small handwritten message on the side of the box and it makes me smile.

_~ With love, Elena. ~_

She's really doing this. She's really trying to prove how much I mean to her. I remove the paper roughly, and for a tiny moment I feel bad that I wasn't more careful. I could have saved it, and kept it in one of my drawers, but I'm dying to see what's inside. Thankfully, I quickly snap out of that mood. I can't believe I've seriously just been considering keeping the ugly paper. This woman is turning me into a sentimental idiot.

There's a note inside.

_~ Damon,_

_I know that you don't believe me and I understand your reasons. _

_But I'm not giving up on you. I'll prove it to you and I hope these gifts might help you realize it, and maybe even change your mind about Christmas._

_Yours, Elena. ~_

My mind goes blank at her signature. Yours. It's all I've ever hoped to hear and yet I cannot enjoy the feeling. I just don't understand what has changed all of a sudden.

Glimpsing something else in the box, I put the note aside and pick up a framed picture of us. It shows me and her dancing at the Miss Mystic Falls pageant a year ago. Where the hell did she get this? I can't believe how perfect we look together. She's as beautiful as in my memories, her blue silken dress hugging her in all the right places, but this doesn't surprise me. I know her body is perfect. What surprises me is the way she looks at me. There's a hint of a smile on her face and she looks at me without judgement or bitterness, as if she were seriously enjoying this dance between us. I thought that my imagination had been playing tricks on me, but obviously, it hadn't. This beautiful moment between us is perfectly captured in the photo. I set it carefully on my nightstand.

I'm heading downstairs to get some bourbon when I notice a noise in the kitchen. Stefan hasn't cooked a single thing during the last year. Who else would be using our kitchen? Of course. I smell her before I see her and I quietly sneak up to her, coming to stand directly behind her and placing my hands on her shoulders.

She lets out a scream, turns around and hits me hard in the chest.

"God, Damon, you gave me a heart attack."

"That's what you get for being in someone else's kitchen without telling them," I whisper in a menacing voice into her ear.

She shudders. "Stop speaking in that voice. It's creepy."

"What are you doing here?" I look at the mess she's made. Broken bits of eggshell are covering the floor like a poorly made mosaic, the counter is smeared with melted chocolate and Elena looks like she's just taken a long bath in flour. She's baking?

"It's none of your business."

Right. I mean, it's not like this is my kitchen or anything.

"Did you receive my gift?" She asks curiously while she's trying to shove me into the parlour.

I fight her, putting my weight against her as she's pushing me out of the kitchen with her hands on my back, just to see her struggle a bit. I can feel that she's pushing as hard as she can and I chuckle at her bad attempt. Vampire or not, she's still weaker than me.

"Yes." I try my best to sound as nonchalant as possible. "It's very nice, thank you."

"You really seem to like this word – nice."

"Don't you like it?"

She shakes her head.

"I think it's a nice word," I say and she rolls her eyes knowing that I'm teasing her. "I like the picture," I add quietly. I don't want her to feel too bad.

"Me, too." She places her thumb on my cheek, smiling at me, and I know it's enough of a positive reaction to keep her going.

* * *

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.*.*.

.*.*.*.

The next days pass quickly.

Every day, she places a gift on my bed, accompanied by a short message. She gives me a chocolate cake at which I have to smile. This is what she's been up to in the kitchen. I told her ages ago that it's my favourite dessert, and apparently, she'd remembered. Sometimes, her presents are of the kind that stir these weird feelings in my stomach, like the picture of us. And sometimes, she just seems to be mocking me with her gifts ("Bite me" boxer briefs, seriously?).

I love her presents, but it's the messages that really get to me. With every day they seem to get more honest, more to the point. She writes about the moments we shared, about how her feelings have grown, what she likes about me. What she_ loves_ about me. She apologises for some situations, writes about her wishes for the future, about her wishes for _our_ future.

Snippets of her letters are constantly running through my head. Ones that touch my heart and make me sad ...

_~ I've never wished for eternal life. I would have loved to grow old and ugly, watch my children and grandchildren grow up. But this life is gone now and I hope that you never leave - because knowing that you're going to be there for me, all the time, is the most comforting thought I've ever had, it's what makes it bearable ... ~_

... and others that make me laugh.

_~ I love that you're always there for me. I love that smug grin on your face when you're teasing me. Your typical half-smile. And - if you ever tell anyone, I will kill you - I love that eye thing that you do. ~_

I never know what to expect. Every day, a different part of her is captured in the notes - sometimes it feels like her emotions are giving me whiplash, but she does succeed in making me realize the complexity of her thoughts, of her feelings.

And slowly, more and more with every message, I get it. I get what she's talking about, I understand her feelings, and her fears, and her wishes for the future because it's exactly how I've been feeling this whole time. She's proving that she loves me in such a subtle and honest way, step by step revealing what she thinks of me, that when opening my present on the 23rd of December, it hits me like a brick: I believe her. It's only a tiny piece of paper, wrapped in a red ribbon, but it's been the best present so far.

_~ I love you ~ _

The three most important words that exist in our language and that nobody has ever said to me and truly meant it, I believe that she means them. I believe that she loves me.

* * *

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.*.*.

.*.*.*.

When I wake up the next day I realize it's the 24th of December – the last day of our deal, and I haven't yet told Elena whether I'm staying or leaving.

Stefan and Elena have gone to the Grill for a little Christmas celebration where they are supposed to meet the rest of the gang. I really don't feel like joining them, but somehow, I find myself making my way over there. To cap it all off, it has started to snow for the very first time this year and the grass is covered by a soft, white blanket. It's really romantic, if you care about that kind of thing.

I enter the bar and the most horrible version of Jingle Bells you could ever imagine hits me in the face. I spot Elena immediately. She's standing next to Bonnie and Caroline and her face lights up when she sees me. She runs toward me and pecks me on the cheek. I can see Caroline making a face in the background, not that I care.

"You came," she shouts over the obnoxiously loud music. She gives me her full-face smile. "I'm really happy that you're here." The sparkle in her eyes tells me that she really means it.

"Let's have some drinks," I suggest, dragging her over to the bar. I stop when I notice people are looking at us expectantly. The music has stopped playing, instead there's just awkward silence surrounding us. What's going on?

Elena has noticed that we've somehow become the centre of attention of the whole bar and she looks as bewildered as I am. I look around and notice the little branch hanging above us. I smirk at her and gesture at the mistletoe. She takes a deep breath, her cheeks blushing an adorable pink before she smirks back at me.

The silence is getting uncomfortable and the room is suddenly filled with tension. I take a step in her direction until I am standing ridiculously close in front of her. She looks at me and I can see that she's extremely nervous about how I'm going to react. She doesn't seem to care about all the people watching us, all her judgy friends watching us; her eyes are focused on me.

"What are you doing?" She asks with a shaky voice when I close the distance between us and rest my forehead against hers.

"What do you think I'm doing? It's mistletoe," I whisper, my breath fanning against her skin.

I lean forward, my thumb coming up to stroke her cheek and I place a soft kiss on her lips. It feels like heaven, even better than in my wildest dreams. After the initial shock she kisses me back, linking her hands around my neck and bringing me closer to her as she deepens the kiss.

Our bodies move closer and we start to kiss more passionately. Her tongue runs along my bottom lip and slowly, she captures it between her own. I part my lips, giving her access to the contours of my mouth. Our tongues dance together and it feels like we're pouring all the suppressed attraction into this one, single kiss. I put my hands on the nape of her neck, pulling her closer, if that was even possible, and I can feel her breath quicken.

After a while we break apart, completely breathless and clearly affected by the kiss.

I notice that people are still staring at us. Some people are grinning and cheering, others... not so much. Bonnie and Caroline look appalled, to say the least. Jeremy looks at us, rolling his eyes as if to say 'not this again'. He seems to be more relaxed than the others, but then again, it's not the first time he has seen me and Elena like this. In the corner of the pub I notice Stefan leaning against a pillar. He looks shocked, and sad, and angry, but I can't deal with him right now, I'll have to do it later.

My gaze wanders back to Elena. None of her friends are enthusiastic, but she doesn't seem to care. She looks at me like I'm her world, completely ignoring everyone, and I feel it in that moment - what I realized last night - she's been telling me the truth.

"I love you." She looks me deep into the eyes and it feels like she's staring right into my soul.

"I know." I give her a genuine smile and her eyes widen in surprise. "I believe you."

She sucks in a breath and in the next second she is wrapping her arms around me and tugging me into a tight embrace. I hug her back and press her against my chest. This feels so right. She kisses me again and this time I'm not holding back. I kiss her like there's no tomorrow, pressing her against the wall behind her. When she breaks the kiss, we don't need to talk about where we want to be. I can see in her eyes that she's clearly having the same thought as me.

Taking my hand in hers, we leave the Mystic Grill and wander through the streets of Mystic Falls with my arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders, pulling her in close to me, thick snowflakes falling down on us, and I don't think I've ever experienced a better moment. This is it, this is happiness. A deep feeling of gratitude hits me. I'm grateful for everything - being able to hold her tiny, delicate hand in mine, the moon for creating the perfect lighting, even the snow for making it such a special moment.

We're talking and laughing, pressing our bodies against each other as much as possible while walking. We reach the boarding house and I press her against the first wall in the hall, kissing her again. After we've spent a ridiculous amount of time thouroughly exploring each other's mouths with our tongues, we make our way upstairs.

"I got you something," I say when we enter my room.

Taking the blue velvet box out of the top drawer of my dresser I walk over to Elena and hand her the present.

She grins at me while she removes the velvet wrapping. "No reindeer?"

"Definitely no reindeer." I laugh, hitting her softly on the arm.

"I told you not to buy me anything."

"Don't worry, I didn't pay for it."

She cocks her head to the side. "You stole it?"

"No!" I raise my eyebrows in mocking consternation.

Elena opens the box and places the white gold bracelet in her palm, letting it run through her fingers and admiring the way it sparkles in the soft firelight.

"It's beautiful." She considers the bracelet with a sad expression on her face. "I can't keep it, it's too valuable."

"It was my mother's." I place my hand on hers, closing her palm. "I want you to have it."

Her inner struggle is obvious on her face, but after a few moments, she smiles and nods. "Thank you, Damon. Can you ...?" She hands me the bracelet and with slightly shaking hands, I help her put it on. It looks amazing on her, and I'm glad I've given it to her. Seeing her this happy fills me with a feeling I haven't experienced in a very long time. I think I've forgotten how gratifying it feels to give.

After a while of comforting silence, Elena smirks at me and sits on the bed as if it's something she does every day. Not that I mind, of course.

"You haven't received _your_ gift for today."

"Where is it?" I raise my eyebrows curiously.

"It's a little bigger than usual," she says innocently and pulls her knees up to her chest, her body forming a package.

My heart stops. She can't mean ... in the next second I'm attacking her, jumping onto the bed and pressing my lips onto hers. We roll around on the bed and I slowly crawl up to her before I take her head in between my hands, kissing her again. My hands go down to her waist, holding her tight.

"I'm so happy you believe me." We lie on our sides in a tight embrace, Elena's head buried in the crook of my neck. "It still feels like a dream."

I bite her playfully on her neck. "It's not a dream."

She shudders, her fingernails digging into my back and I growl deeply in my throat in response.

"Are you going to unwrap me, or what?" She looks at me teasingly, softly biting her bottom lip.

In the next second my hands go down her body, exploring her, undressing her, and she lets out a quiet moan that goes straight to my groin. Desire is pumping through me when her tongue plays with mine and wanders over my bottom lip to my jaw.

She unfastens my belt and lets her hand glide into the waistband of my boxer briefs and I can't help but moan loudly. Inspired by the sounds I'm making she takes off my clothes until I'm completely naked in front of her. Her gaze wanders over my body appreciately.

"Like what you see?"

She gives me a smile and nods. Surprisingly, she isn't shy at all about it. She places kisses down my chest and softly bites my nipple, looking up at me before she goes further down. She kisses my stomach, my hip bone, my thighs ... She hasn't even touched me _there_ yet and I think I'm about to explode already. I pull her back up to be able to kiss her, but she blinks at me in confusion.

"Don't you like it?" She asks.

"Quite the opposite." I grin at her and she chuckles, and it's such a wonderful sound that I just want to kiss her again, but then I have a different idea.

I pick her up, her body wrapped up in my arms, and carry her to the pillows laid out in front of the fireplace. Through the window I can see thick snowflakes falling down in what looks like a heavy snow storm. Elena is watching them in awe, and we lay there for a moment and stare outside before our gaze falls at the fire that is creating a soft and flickering light.

I roll back on top of her, our naked bodies pressed against each other, and kiss her intensely while softly stroking her breasts. Over the soft crackle of the fireplace I can hear her breathing speed up when I reach her nipples and softly pinch them between my fingers. I take one of her wonderfully red peaks into my mouth and Elena lets out a loud moan. My erection twitches at her belly in response.

My fingers wander over her belly to her thighs. I let them explore the area and I growl quietly when I notice how wet she is. My fingers slide over her slit and she makes the most wonderful noise of approval. Her eyes are closed, his lips partly opened and she pants deeply. I slide one finger into her wetness and she whimpers, opening her eyes.

"Damon." She looks me directly in the eyes. "Make love to me."

I look at this beautiful woman that I've loved for so long and I can't believe how lucky I am to be here with her like this. This time, I'm the one pinching myself to ensure this isn't some vivid, beautiful dream, that this perfection in front of me really is mine.

"I'm sure," she whispers when she notices my hesitation.

She takes my hands, intertwines her fingers with mine, and pulls me against her. I can feel the tip of my erection against her entrance and with a slight movement of her hip, I slide inside her.

I gasp. If holding her in my arms has been wonderful, this is heaven. I'm running out of superlatives to describe how amazing she feels wrapped around me, how amazing we feel being one. I bite her bottom lip while I thrust into her for the very first time. She gasps and clings to me as if she's trying to get closer and closer to me.

Our foreheads are touching while we bring each other closer to the edge. Her hands are everywhere - on my thighs, gripping my back in one moment and clasping my face in the next.

"God, you feel so good," I gasp.

Her cheeks are flushed and she is breathing heavily, and after a few more thrusts she cries out my name, collapsing in my arms; that's all it takes to for me to find my own release as well. I come loudly, crying out in ecstasy, and she's looking at me, staring into my eyes, watching me being torn apart by my emotions.

I'm lying on my back, Elena's body pressed up against me and I have my arms wrapped tightly around her. Elena's legs are tangled with mine and she looks exhausted, but incredibly gorgeous. I never want to let her go.

I clasp her head in my hands and kiss her softly on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she smiles.

We're still on our backs, observing the glowing flames in the grate and the glittering snowflakes tumbling down outside our window.

"This was my favourite gift so far," I grin at her.

"Did I make you change your mind? About Christmas?" She gazes at me shyly, hope shining in her warm, brown eyes.

I sigh. I don't want to admit it, but judging by the way she's smiling at me, I assume she already knows anyway. "It's not so bad when you spend it in the right company."

She laughs and gives me a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth. "Merry Christmas, Damon."

"Merry Christmas, Elena."

* * *

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**Merry Christmas to all you lovely people and a Happy New Year!**


End file.
